Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Drudgery of Scoring Phish Tickets

The moment that the Phish announced the second leg of their tour, thousands of fans filled out their "mail order" lottery submissions. Back in the day, when I used to see Phish in the 20th century, we had to go to the post office with fistfuls of cash and purchase money orders which we'd stuff into a envelope that I'd draw cool things on the outside like pot leaves or stick figures of Fishman playing the vacuum. I usually had 75-90% of my orders filled that way. And if I didn't I had to call up Ticketbastard in another city to snag tickets or stay up all night and stand in line with other heads at an local outlet.

These days? Any moron with a credit card can get a shot at the lottery. Any moron. And that included the dozens of friends and family and co-workers that you bribed to help get Phish tickets. Is that a "dick thing to do" or are you simply utilizing all potential weapons at your disposal? Buy a ticket and take the ride.

Alas, the day of reckoning is upon us. How many phans will win the lottery by Midnight tonight? How many lucky fuckers will hook up with a golden ticket to Red Rocks?

During the first leg of summer tour, I was virtually shut out. After 151 Phish shows (at the time before the three at Hampton), I managed to score three tickets to Burgettstown. And they were lawn seats too. Once that happened, I knew that I was doomed on this summer tour and had to pray that my friends scooped up extras against the scalpers, brokers, bots, and other miscreants who gobbled up Phish tickets then sold them at 10x face value.

Alas, I'm not keeping my hopes up high... with mail order/lottery and the looming Ticketbastard fiasco which will unfold this weekend.

So, my advice to all Phisheads? Start hording cash to buy extras from faux-fans raping their fellow heads or from nameless faceless dickless brokers who loathe the entire Phis community. If they had an inkling of love, they'd just charge face valueand take the extra bonus karma points that came there way.


FYI... cash or kind trade for your extras!

Photo credit: The Wookie

30 comments:

JMS said...

Similar sentiment here... I miss the old days despite the _weeks_ of waiting for your tickets or money orders to come back.

Irongirl01 said...

i took friday off to score tickets to spac. I found out Box office at spac is closed till may 10th so i have to go thru live nation for these. Its going to suck if i get shut out at my local venue.

Jake said...

When mail-ordering Grateful Dead tickets My buddy thought that drawing pictures of trippy mushrooms, roses, or Jerry with windblown hair would get him priority. I thought it was a bunch of bull, so we conducted oour own unscientific test over 6 years or so. Three guys would order the tickets and send in drawings, pictures, little trinkets and even joints. Me and two of my friends would send them in real plain. My buddy even would send it in an envelope from an oil and gas company that he worked for. The undecorated ones proved to get tickets way more than the embellished ones. So much so that they all stopped adorning their orders. Anyway, money is what they want. But I agree, the mail order system helped weed out the scalpers in a big way. Time has changed and not for the better in this aspect. I'm waiting for my tickets and could have used 4 different credit cards and had friends with no intention of going order them as well. I chose to take the high-road and hope that it will pay off. I need my Phix! What time do you think we'll get the news. I can't stop checking my email, and my credit card account to see if a charge has been posted. It hurts!

Dr. Pauly said...

Jake, I feel your pain. I'm not even going to look until 9pm PT.

CyLowe said...

I never drew a picture on the mail order envelopes, but got every request I ever placed, including Halloween in Vegas. The mail order / money order bit was a giant hassle, but the extra effort kept it sane for those who were buying tix to actually go to the show.

The internets are wonderful, but I'm skipping this year's tour. The scene seems overblown and out of control. My guess is that Red Rocks '09 is going to make Red Rocks '96 seem like play time. And it might just kill the whole thing entirely.

Henry Holland said...

I'm a post-hiatus nOOb (five shows incl. Keyspan > SPAC 04) and I was so blown away by Hampton 09 that I'm going to bite the bullet and go to StubHub if necessary. Since Phish bypassed Southern California, I'll only be able to do Shoreline > Gorge, I'm avoiding Red Rocks because that has "clusterfuck" written all over it.

the joker said...

just got the denial email...

BTreotch said...

i have a pending charge of $120.. so i got two tickets to paradise.. the question now is which paradise..

Brad said...

I have a pending charge as well. No email yet though. Does the pending charge mean that I'm good?

Jake said...

I got my denial. Bugger me.

Jake said...

Yes, a pending charge on your credit card means you are in! Congrats.

Dr. Pauly said...

I have ZERO pending charges on AMEX. I guess that I whiffed the entire tour. Oooooomph. Waiting for official bad news...

Matt said...

maybe because they only take MC and Visa Dr. Pauly.... I got 8 tix ($442.90) being held.... wonder which shows?

Brad said...

excellent!!!! Merriweather, here I come!

Chris said...

my wife got the denial email but i haven't gotten mine yet. still hoping for tickets to RR for at least one night.

Peter Griffin said...

sad times
fuck scalpers
no chance on the internet either - they got computer programs that shut you out
I think they should find selected festival sites positioned around the US, buy the land and sell their own tickets
all you need is a big open field ... right?
fuck this shit!!

Dr. Pauly said...

I got 2 for Gorge both nights. The girlfriend got 1 Gorge both nights. Shit out of the rest of the tour!

Nate414 said...

I got Chicago tickets but no Red Rocks or Gorge. I guess I'm not driving to far this summer only going to Creek, Alpine, and Chicago.

BTreotch said...

Darian Lake - 2 YAWN seats

Kid Dynamite said...

pauly - i sent you an email. will hook u up.
-KD

Dr. Pauly said...

Thanks to KD< he scored me 2 shoreline.

FYI.... KD has extras for Darien Lake that hes trying to trade for Hartford. Shoot me an email if you can help KD out.

Henry Holland said...

Still no pending charges or bad news, I guess my request went in to a black hole. :-(

the joker said...

last time my lottery denial went to my junk mail folder...if you havent heard anything by now, might want to check the spam/junk mail...

chapin said...

my friends and i are on the east coast and all we got were spac and hartford...none of the west coast shows...i wonder if they did it by geography.

Goofy Girl said...

I will trade any late summer for St. Louis, 6/18.

Ziggy Stardust said...

If they did it by geography, I would know SOMEONE who got a red rocks ticket...

Raven said...

Sadly I didn't get any in the lottery and have been shut out by ticketmaster. I see there are already brokers online offering Red Rocks tickets at 5X the price. Bummer.

Tanya said...

This harsh reality is so hard to come to terms with. Was a college student in the late 80's in New England, and Fish would put my pals and I one the guest list (he is a very nice person and funny) After those years, could always score tix at normal price. Now... WTF - I live down the street from Red Rocks and was shut out from pre-order and Ticketmaster. Obviously, still spinning over this one!

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