Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Dear Scarlett... Don't Sing


Dear Scarlett,

Stick to acting. And wearing designer outfits that show off your cleavage.

Sincerely,

change100 and the 1102 other reviewers who gave your album a combined score of ONE STAR on iTunes

P.S.-- Here are some of my favorites.

The Top 20 One-Star Reviews of Scarlett Johansson's Anywhere I Lay My Head on iTunes


dani_defenes: "duuuude... it does not get more WTF than this. Who let her do this? As Michael Kors might say-- sounds like someone was drinking the kool-aid when this was put together."

pha...: "I buried my voice under a million other sounds so you could only kind of tell that I can't really sing."

Country-Girl-in-the-City: "Worse than American Idol's rejects week!!!!"

kaiser5: "I honestly thought this CD was a joke, either that or some kind of Tom Waits parody. Frankly, anyone who feels otherwise is musically clueless."

peterpanlovesd: "What in the world is this? I'm scared."

tksandfc: "I'd rather listen to the Wiggles. Or Barney."

kinogod3: "This makes William Shatner's debut and magnum opus MacArthur Park, sound brilliant."

njaero: "This is like something that I would sing while gietting drunk at 3 a.am, banging out rnadom things to tunes like my jewelry box, or playing with spoons."

volt: "She sounds a bit like a tone-deaf android with mechanical failure."

musicadm: "You don't give children knives to play with and obviously you don't give Scarlett an 8 track and some microphones."

nickna: "Please just go back to taking hot pictures of yourself almost naked."

Vaporpark: "if I wanted to head Senad O Connor id drown a puppy in a bucket of water."

8ball80: "Garbage."

woofani: "Horrifying. My ears refused to listen."

js: "nooooooooo. no no no no no. noooooooo. No."

MaverickMuze: "YOUR VOICE MAKES ME WANT TO CHEW TIN FOIL AND GET SEVERAL TOOTH CANALS IN THE PROCESS."

lw: "She sounds like a man."

Haylet: "She sounds like a man!"

klb: "OMG, she totally sounds like a man."

RockHardforChrist247: "It kind of sounds like whales mating...and the instruments sound like noises that come from McDonalds Happy Meal toys."

1 comment:

BTreotch said...

I think Maxim gave it 4 stars.. Evil Urges 2.5..