Thursday, March 26, 2009

Phish Red Rocks Ticketbastard Grovel

Some days, you hope you wake up lucky. Today is one of those days.

One scalper wants $2,600 for a four day pass at Red Rocks. Are you shitting me? Does it come with an 8-ball and a limo ride to and from the venue every day?

Man, maybe if John Lennon, Jerry Garcia, and Duane Allman came back to life and played with Keith Moon, then maybe I'd spend $2,600.

Alas, the Phish is a hot ticket. Especially the intimate and spiritual setting in Red Rocks. Almost hotter than Hampton judging on some scum of the earth selling tickets to the highest bidder.

We have become pawns in a battle between the machines and the wookies. The wookies are instinctually hunters and gatherers. They seek out tickets for the lowest denomination possible (free). And the bots? They gobble up tickets faster than you can hit the 'refresh' button on your browser. And the bots' evil overlords sell the tickets to rich yuppie potheads who have no qualms paying $500 to see a chubby guy in a dress play a vacuum solo.

It's a bloody war where nobody wins, except the war profiteers... scalpers and faux fans jacking up the prices. And if you're one of those slimy sleazy fuckers charging 12x face for a Red Rocks ticket... I curse you... and may the lice of a thousand camels infect your pubic hair.

Good luck to all of you true heads out there. You're gonna need it because it's gonna be a bloody battle out there trying to get a ticket.


Goofy Girl said...

I will trade 8/2 for 6/18 or some kind of interesting trade

Ziggy Stardust said...

Fantastic, Goofy! I'm hoping some of us will get through the bastard this morning, but I'm sure we'll be missing a few regardless. Send me an email, and we'll work something out.

sorrels at

None Available said...

Shut out after 2 minutes. Ticketmast FUCKING SUCKS!!!! Come up with a new idea guys!!!!

BTreotch said...

Good Luck for the Gorge!

Chris said...

no one i know got tix. 5 minutes after it sold out, already on ebay stubhub, etc. bullshit.

Justin said...

I was shut out completely this afternoon - and am also boycotting all sellers pricing over face. And everyone should do the same! It's just plain wrong, man.

the joker said...

congrats to Jonas + Katie, and Wildo!!!

katie looped the phone system for an hour, and got 2 4 day passes.

Wildo did a similar thing and was able to get a confirm for 1 4-day pass, but seems to have been charged for 2.

these are the only stories of people who got through this morning and are fans that will use the tickets. Im happy for them!!!

Dr. Pauly said...

Nice catch, Jonas.

Paul said...

Phish is scalping their own tickets with the help of ticketsnow. Check it out. 8/1 red rocks. 3 front row seats. all priced exactly the same. It's them doing it. Bands do it all the time. Google "concert tickets get set aside" and read the top result - a story from the wall street journal. What a bunch of jerks, trying to act like they care about their fans and ticket scalpers when they're scalping tickets themselves, while hiding behind ticketsnow. They say they're trying to fix the problem -HA! They are the problem. And at least most tickets aren't scared to say thier doing it, like phish is.

Peter Griffin said...

too bad front row is general admission at Red Rocks. reserved seats don't start till farther back.
and I seriously doubt Phish is scalping their own tickets. Do you have proof?
It doesn't say anything about Phish in the article

Paul said...

front row is not general admission. It is reserved for handicapped people and thier companions, up to two. I don't have a confession if that's what you're looking for. What I have is very strong evidence. 1. ticketmaster, bands, and venues do this for nearly every big show, 2. the prices for those tickets are all the same. Since one person could not have gotten more than one disabled seat, that means three people are selling row 1 seats for the exact, down to the penny exact same price, on ticketsnow. What are the odds of that? If you were one of those three, wouldn't you knock your price down 5 bucks to assure your ticket would sell rather than the other. 3. Ticketmaster tells me that they don't care that these seats are being sold. That's weird, considering it is against their own policy to sell handicapped seats to people who aren't handicapped, yet on ticketsnow, anyone, including non-handicapped people can buy the tickets, 4. when asked, ticketmaster will not reply to me when I asked who is selling the tickets, them, or a handicapped person who bought the tickets? 5. and this is not some phone rep telling me this, this is through one on one email exchanges with one single person who deals with disabled seating for Ticketmaster. Stay in denial if you want. But I'm telling you, phish is scalping tickets on Ticketsnow. If asked, they'll have to own up to it, or show that they aren't. And again, what makes them any different then ALL THE OTHER BIG NAME ACTS who admit to doing it?

Peter Griffin said...

still no proof