Friday, January 21, 2011

"Just Say No to THE Phish"

Man, oh man. Where do I start?

You better read this hysterical article written by a bunch of slandering Jesus Freaks before Shapiro and Phish's legal team slaps them with a cease and desist order... Just Say No to the Phish.

Here's a bit of the madness via Christwire:
What The Phish does is far worse. More than any other band out there today, they have devoted countless hours and incredible financial resources to crossing the country in search of new converts. They are continuously “on tour” performing at venues large and small, prowling for intimate personal contact with the youth of America. Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents. For The Phish, their modus operandi is to induce the na├»ve with promises of sexual pleasure and peer acceptance. Like serial killer Charles Manson, they lower inhibitions through hardcore drug use. As with false prophet Jim Jones, the price for such kicks is a complete dedication to their larger agenda.
Actually, just read the bit of satire yourself. The comments are equally piss-myself-funny.

Thanks to @TweeterReprise for the H/T.


Kid Dynamite said...

the best part was definitely this:

"For the frustrated, reckless masturbation in Port-O-Johns is the highlight of their evenings. It gives them a small sense of control to harass their aching phalluses to the beat of drummer Fishman’s incoherent thrashings. "

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't seriously think that's a real website. It's a parody site brah... That article was prob written by a head.

Anonymous said...

The author responds to comments. Sadly there are plenty of people out their that think this way.

Pauly said...

gratefuldead824...I guess you missed the line that I wrote: Just read the bit of satire yourself.

Anonymous said...

gaaah self'd

my bad brah